The anti-foodie’s guide to L/A cuisine

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At the beginning of the school year, I asked the venerable Bates Student staff to rank their top three places to eat.

Unsurprisingly, they named restaurants that are mostly within walking distance of campus, frequented by young trendy types, and filled with EXPOSED BRICK. Fortunately for you, I’m here to tell you about the best restaurants you’ve likely never been to in the L/A area.

First, the most popular restaurants as rated by the Student staff:

5. Fishbones (The #1 hangout for professors/yuppie parents)

4. Gritty’s (Great for Keith Tannenbaum sightings)

3. Forage (Home of the $75 breakfast sandwich)

2. Mother India (Solid choice, not going to rag on any place that serves the mother of all breads, garlic naan)

1. Guthrie’s (see previous exposed brick exclamation)

Here are the places you should actually go:

5. Dairy Joy

Okay, so probably every Bates student has been to Dairy Joy. The ice cream is cheap, served by high school students, and is home to one of best ever ice cream dishes known to man. They fill up a 20-ouce cup with a swirl of chocolate soft serve and stuff the hole in the middle with peanut butter sauce. It’s basically God’s gift to an ice cream and peanut butter addict.

The downside/upside is that Dairy Joy is only open for the first few weeks of school and Short Term. I have such a problem with ice cream that I’ve been known to frequent the combo Tim Horton’s/Coldstone down East Avenue (which is now closed, RIP) at 10:00 P.M. on a Tuesday in Feburary, so it’s good that I don’t have a heart disease factory within walking distance all year.

4. Roy’s All-Steak Hamburgers

Ah, Roy’s. It’s basically the better version of White Castle complete with breakfast, too. Two-dollar burgers, one-dollar hot dogs, and two-dollar fries…need I say more? The name is obviously boss and there is nothing better than devouring four burgers in one sitting and still paying less than a breakfast sandwich at Forage. When you see a bunch of late 1980s Oldsmobiles and Harleys parked outside, you know the clientele has been going there for years and loving it.

3. Chick-a-Dee

This is another place with a boss name and a clientele that errs on the side of grey-haired. While these two attributes are enough to make an anti-foodie salivate, the food brings it up on the list. For starters a $9.95 prime rib in all of its juicy goodness (it comes with like 10 sides). And the fried clams. They offer TWO different frying options for your clams. Get both and thank me later.

2. Simone’s Hot Dog Stand

Simone’s is the one place on the list that every Batesie must go to since it’s within walking distance of campus. While it may lie next to the infamous Kennedy Park, you must go for the pink hotdogs and the cheap breakfasts. Added bonus: it’s a favorite hangout of Lewiston Mayor Bob MacDonald. Simone’s has been around forever. Make sure to add copious amounts of chili and cheese on top of whatever you order.

1. Mac’s Downeast Seafood

The undisputed king of L/A gastronomy, Mac’s may be 10 minutes from campus but the lobster rolls are probably the best thing I have ever digested. There’s the clear meat-style and the lobster salad both on a perfectly toasted bun. Get the hand-breaded onion rings, too. This cramped shack is not the place to fiddle with your Instagram filters; the locals talking football will probably look at you sideways. Even though it’s a drive, find a friend, get a Zipcar, or get freaking Dean Reese to give you a lift. It’s worth it.

There you have it, the best anti-foodie places to eat in L/A! Let me know of any other anti-foodie suggestions you may have at thebatesstudent.com. And no, Fuel doesn’t count.

The glory of lobster and fried fish that is Mac’s Seafood (Taylor Blackburn/The Bates Student)

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